Oh, Desire
It is hot in the kitchen. Very hot, especially for early winter. The moon is illuminating the otherwise dark night sky, as I gaze out the window. How odd, there is a light coming from under the door to the hall. It appears a bright orange or red shade. That is not the hallway’s natural light color. I am going to open the door. As I do, a great hellfire greets me upon opening that portal to burning. I step backwards, suddenly terrified, and slam the door shut. When it hits the frame though, it disintegrates into ash. I retreat to the safety of my bedroom, where there is a window, and escape from this new hell. When I reach the window, however, the entire wall collapses into a heap of rubble. A blast of flame rushes over me. I cower back, behind the bed. But the bed goes up almost instantly, nowhere safe left. The fire is all around me now, lapping at my feet. My clothes catch, and begin to burn. I am on fire, and gazing at my hand, I can see the very flesh melting off my bones. I screamed, the most horrid scream I have ever uttered.
I am suddenly jolted upright, still screaming. I am covered in sweat and unsure of what is going on.
“Oh God, I am burning!” I shout.
I realize then though, that everything is alright. It was just a dream! A mad, absolutely downright terrifying dream. I, Jimmy McBurns, am perfectly fine!
“What horror was this, and what caused my mind to conjure up such strange visions?” I wonder aloud.
At least it is over with. A cup of tea should calm my nerves now. I slip out of bed, and make my way into the kitchen. The kitchen is rather quite cold, and I let out a slight laugh. I begin to prepare the tea, filling the kettle and placing it upon the stove. A click and the flames ignite. Bright blue, they are, and they dance with grace beneath the kettle. They lick at the edges, and slowly bring the water to a boil as I stand idly by waiting. Finally, the water is ready. I pour it into a cup and add a packet of orange tea.
“Ah, much better. That goes down well,” I say aloud as I sipped.
I do not have to go to work today, so I decide to go for a walk through town. My apartment is located very near the town, and there is always something to do there, whether it be shopping or simply going somewhere to eat. I will do the latter now. I step back into my room, and change into clothing more appropriate than my nightwear for venturing out into the chill early winter air.
I slipped on my coat and out the door I went. Down the flight of stairs, to floor one. I stepped out the door and strolled down the street, into the cold empty air, just me. The wild winds blew flurries of snow across my face, and they jumped and lept over my nose and grasped onto my eyebrows and hair. There were very few people out walking today, as expected with the cold. One soul does not go out alone in this weather though.
I had walked a few blocks, when the cold began to get to me, seeping into and crawling its way through my coat to my body. I decided to warm up and get a bite to eat and drink. I stopped in a coffee shop, one which I visited on occasion. Inside it was much warmer, and I ordered some coffee and soup. Once I received my order I had a seat at a table off to the side of the shop up against a wall. I breathed out a sigh as I began eating, and thought,
Here I am, alone again.
More and more of late, I had noticed myself becoming lonely. I really didn’t have any friends in this town, and all my family lived very far away. I was generally very busy with work, but this week I had been given off for the holidays. Right now, I wanted a friend. No, what I really wanted was a girl. I knew that I was a dashing handsome fellow, as I had been a quite a womanizer in the city I had worked in before this town. But here, I just hadn’t gotten out much. I never had the time. Now that there was a week of freedom in my life though, why not go looking? Some change in my daily life would be good. The coffee shop was not very busy, and only a single other person had entered since I. Just then, however, a couple came in. They were both somewhat young, but no younger than I am. They ordered drinks and had a seat in the front by the window. They were talking, and the man seemed to be speaking in a condescending tone to the woman. He would give her a mean sneer too and laugh occasionally, as though she had done something stupid in his eyes. She did not seem overly happy with him. God, she was beautiful though. Such a gorgeous woman; very light brown hair, flawless skin, and an incredibly well shaped and toned body. The man she had come with was also attractive as men go, and was muscular and had a large frame.
“What a tool,” I thought.
He did not look to be much of an intellectual. I had the ability to easily pick those people out with ease. He spoke loudly to the girl, and from the words I could pick up I was able to assure my assumption of his intelligence. What was a woman as glorious as her doing with an idiot such as him?
But of course I already knew the answer. He was a jock, a big strong muscle bound fool. She had probably only gone out with him for his appearance. Actually, I know that’s why she went out with him. It was obviously not for his personality or genius. Well, I decided, I will have her. She deserves better than that fool. I noticed in a sack she carried she had a number of books, including some on physics. She probably was a student at the local college. That explains where he came from too then. She was also wearing a uniform denoting she worked at one of the local markets. This would be her lunch break then.
This was all good news to me. Assuming she worked and went to college here, she would live near here too. I would be able to see her again then. My soup was cold by now, and I had had enough. It was time to be off. I disposed of my meal and got up. As I left, I walked past their table. I gave her a smile as I passed, and oh joy, she returned it! That warmed my heart. In that instant, I knew I had her. The tool sitting across from her was too busy staring into his drink to even notice the exchange. As I walked out of the shop, I thought to myself,
“She will be mine, before this season is over.”
I went back to my home, where I spent some time reading and contemplating how I would get this girl. Tomorrow, I would go into the market she worked at and see her again. The day wore on, and I made myself a little dinner. Hopefully this would be one of the last I ate alone. After dinner I watched the news on television, until I finally decided to retire for the night.
The next morning I awoke, feeling great. Today I was going to accomplish something. A dark smile crept over my face as I recalled the happenings of the day before. I got out of bed and went into the other room. I turned on the television, and was watching the news. There had been an increasing number of fires in cities around the country. They had all been started by people though, and in protest of new governmental regulations that had been put into action recently. That is a curious crime I thought, arson. The news went to a commercial then. I had seen enough. I had things to do now. I stood up and went into the kitchen. I made up some tea and toast, and had a lovely breakfast. I went and changed clothes, and made way to go to the market. Again, it was bitter cold out. I loved the cold though. The entire winter season was great in fact. Everything is covered in a layer of beautiful white snow. The snow covers up all the emptiness of fall. After the leaves are gone, the trees are left with naught but their bare brown bones sticking every which way. Winter brings about a change in the landscape. A change I was about to apply to my life as well.
I arrived at the market about this time. I had formulated a plan for when I found her. I was going to casually walk by, then bring up the fact that I had seen her at the coffee shop the day before. From there on, I would try and strike up a conversation, and get to know her.
I walked into the store, and began to search around. I played it off casually though, and even looked at some of food there. I had walked from the front of the store to the back, and not seen her yet.
“Where was she?” I thought to myself.
The thought crossed my mind then, and I felt like an idiot. Maybe she did not work today. How could I have possibly overlooked that fact? Such a large part of this, and I had not even thought about it. I had been too caught up in what I would do when I found her. But oh, as whatever fate would have it, she came up behind me and asked,
“Do you need help with anything sir?”
I could not contain my surprise as I spun around to greet said woman. A smile hastily crept across my face.
“Oh hello!” exclaimed I, “I was just having a look around…you look very familiar mam.”
“Do I? Wait a second; didn’t I see you at the coffee shop the other day?” she replied.
“That is it! You were the woman I saw there!”
“Yes, I believe that was me,” she said with a smile.
“Well, it certainly is nice to see you again,” I said. “My name is James McBurns, but you may call me Jimmy.”
“It’s nice to meet you Jimmy, I’m Victoria Anguish.
“It is a pleasure then, Victoria.”
“As is with you,” she said, again smiling.
“You seem to be in a brighter mood than you were in the coffee shop the other day. Pardon me if you will, but I happened to overhear a bit of your conversation,” I replied with a blush. I had not expected to jump so soon into this discussion.
“Oh it’s quite alright. My boyfriend and I were just not seeing eye to eye I guess you could say. We just don’t always think on the same level,” Said she, “I’m sorry you probably don’t care to hear this.”
“Not at all! I do not mind one bit. I enjoy listening to people, whether it is polite conversation or the ailments of their personal life.”
“Well, thank you for listening to me then at least. I feel like no one does anymore. Hey, I have to get back to work right now though. My shift ends at eight tonight, and if you aren’t like busy or anything, maybe we could talk some more.”
“Of course, that would be lovely,” I said grinning.
“I guess I’ll see you tonight then at eight.”
“Sounds like a plan!”
Victoria returned to work, and I proceeded to exit the store. How wonderful, I thought as I left. This exchange could not have gone any better! What luck, if I believed in such a thing, that all of this was actually falling into place so brilliantly. My mood was so exuberant, I decided I would go shopping and find something new to wear for my little date later in the evening. Strolling down the street I came to a clothing shop. This seemed like an ideal place to find something. Inside I went, and wandered around for some time. I found a classy overcoat in a dark crimson shade that I really thought was top notch. I bought the jacket, unconcerned of the relatively large amount of capital I would have to pay, and returned to my humble abode.
Once back inside my apartment, I laid my weary body down on the couch. I was still very excited nonetheless about my chance date tonight, but walking out in the cold had worn me out. I turned on the television to some movie playing about a boy who liked to commit evil deeds, and was eventually caught by the law. They managed to somehow rehabilitate him, but he then ended up going back to doing things how he pleased. A good movie I thought, I will have to read the book.
It was getting later on in the afternoon by this time. I made myself up something to eat, and then decided to do a spot of reading. I read some Voltaire, and waited. Time was passing ever so slowly, and I was growing very impatient. I turned the television back on, and sat down. There was really nothing of interest on, but that figured.
Seven o’clock came around, and I prepared myself for the evening to come. I took a shower and dressed, in casual attire, and wore my new overcoat. Seven forty came, and I left the apartment and made my way down to the coffee shop. I arrived almost precisely at eight o’clock, but she was not there as of yet. I found a seat at a table near the front were I would be easy to see. I sat there for twenty minutes, but no one showed up. I was beginning to think I had been blown off. This damped my mood a good deal. Resentment at ever even trying to find this woman earlier in the day began to rise up inside of me. Just then however, she came into the shop. My spirits rose, but ever so briefly. Her boyfriend was right behind her. She spotted me and came up to the table I was at.
“Hello there,” she said in a not very cheery tone.
“Greeting,” I replied none too happy myself.
“So, you’re the guy who thought he had a date with my woman,” said Victoria’s boyfriend angrily.
“Well, I am the man who was going to have coffee and a nice chat with her, if that is what you meant.”
“Uh no, that’s not what I meant bud.”
“Pardon me then, Sir,” I said with much resentment in my voice.
Victoria chimed in then and turning to her boyfriend,
“Hey! I was just meeting him for coffee! Relax!”
“Stay out of this,” he said and pushed her aside.
I stood up, and defensively moved between the two of them. He and I were now face to face.
“You had better watch how you treat her,” I said defiantly.
“Stay out of the way!” he shouted at me. Just then he took a swing, and I unawares, was caught in the mouth. The blow hurt a quite a lot, and took me so much by surprise that I was temporarily disoriented.
“Leave him alone!” Victoria yelled as she stepped between us. She grabbed him and started pulling him away from me.
“That bastard had it comin to him,” he said as he grinned and started to walk out. Victoria came over to me and all sympathetic like said,
“Are you alright? I’m so sorry for that. I can’t believe he actually hit you,” she said with deep pity in her voice.
“Is fine,” I managed to say, my jaw beginning to swell.
“Victoria! What the hell are you doing?” he said, “We’re leaving. Now.”
“I’m not going with you!” she exclaimed.
“Excuse me? Yes you are,” said he.
“NO!”
He came back over right then and struck her across the face. She recoiled and tears welled up in her eyes. He grabbed her arm and began to pull her out with him. She had given up fighting him. I could see that last light flow out the tears as she went with him. What has this turned into, I thought then. I cannot let him get away with this. Victoria deserves so much better. I am going to make sure that that brute never hurts another woman again.
This is when my mind began to fracture, I believe. I was no longer thinking clearly. Desire and vengeance are powerful emotions, though, and can cause one to act very irrationally. I left the coffee shop, and looked down the street. Victoria and her boyfriend were a ways down the street, and were entering a parked car. I began to run, but it was too late obviously. The car started, and turned down a side road. I pursued, but was a ways behind. The car was much too fast. I gave up the chase, stopped, gasping for breath in the frigid night air. The car had turned again off in the distance, and gone down a road lined with small houses used by the college students. That was perfect. All I had to do was look for his car. Revenge was still very fresh in my mind, so I did not discontinue the chase. I did come up with a plan though, and a very nasty one. I needed to make a quick stop at a gas station right across the street. There were a few things I needed in order to exact my vengeance and reap destruction upon this terrible being Victoria was with. I found what I needed in the store, and filled the tank up with one of the nozzles. It was not as light as I had hoped, and I could not travel at a very fast pace. Thankfully I did not have to go far.
I carried on, and made my way down the street the car had turned down. I assumed the car would not be very far, for some reason, and by complete chance I my wild assumption had been correct. The car was parked in front of a house at the end of the street. I walked on, and finally came to the house. I gazed at it, and then crept up to a window in the front. This window opened into a main room, where he was sitting and drinking a beer while watching the television. She was sitting in a chair off to the side, her head lowered. It was very cold out, but the fire burning in me kept the chill at bay. I took the full tank, and began to pour it in a circle around the edge of the house. A back window was open a crack, and I poured some of the rancid smelling liquid into the room. Finishing off the canister, I carried it back with me to the front window. I peered inside once more, just as he got up and entered the kitchen right off the room. Now was the chance for me. I tapped the glass ever so slightly, but enough that Victoria would hear, and she did. Her eyes grew wide when she saw me, and with a glance into the kitchen, got up and came over to the window.
Victoria opened the window a small amount, and whispered, “What are you doing here?”
“I came for you, my dear,” replied I.
“He won’t let me leave though,” she said downcast.
“You must find a way! I will knock at the door, and you can answer. Tell him it is a friend of yours come to see you, and step outside.”
She glanced back, just as he was returning to the room. I ducked down, and she turned to him.
“What are you doing at the window?” He said.
“I felt a draft coming in, and was checking if it was closed all the way,” she lied.
“Fine. Just sit down now then.”
Victoria obeyed and returned to her chair. I had to play my part now. I crept over to the front door, and knocked. I ran back to the window, and looked in. She was telling the lie I had told her to tell to him it appeared. He did not seem too much care or believe her. She raised her voice, and walked over to the door then. I sprang back to it, and greeted her.
“I cannot believe that worked,” I proclaimed as she came out.
“Neither can I. I don’t think he believed me though.”
“Well then let us be gone from here. You look cold, take my coat,” I said and handed it to her.
“Thank you, I’m freezing.”
“Before we leave, I have one thing to attend to. Please, if you would turn that way and begin to walk. You will not want to see this.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked with concern. “Please, can we just leave here for now? All I want is to get away from here.”
“We will, but I must do this.”
“Alright, then,” as Victoria began to walk.
I crept around to the back of the house. From my pocket I pulled out a matchbook I kept with me, and lit a match. The flame danced in front of me, and I tossed it at the base of the house. Fire instantly sprung up, and began to travel all around where I had spread the gasoline. The room which I had poured it in caught fire, and the house began to burn. I ran back to the front. Victoria was running over to me.
“What are you doing?! Are you mad? Why in hell did you set the house on fire!?” she screamed.
“This had to be done! He was a monster, and not only did you deserve better, but now he will never be able to hurt another soul again!” I retorted.
“No! You can’t do this!”
She ran back to the front door, and went inside. What was she doing? Had she lost it? This guy had treated her terribly, and she was going to save him. I ran up closer to the house and saw in the window. Smoke was already filling the room, and he was looking around, drunk, wondering what was going on. She went up to him, and he stumbled forward falling down. She tried to help him up, but he could not even stand at this point. The fire was spreading very quickly. This house was old, and full of rotten dry wood. Right as she was about to get him up again, the roof started to sag. The structural integrity of the building had been greatly compromised, and it was going to come down very quickly. I was stuck to the spot in which I stood, for I could not believe what was happening. What had I done? He may have been a monster, but then so was I. The roof collapsed around the couple, and flames burst up all around them. In the distance I could hear a siren. I stumbled backwards as the fires shot up, producing a very intense heat. While the flames rose, I knew that Victoria was no more.
The fire engines came, as well as police cars. I stood there, watching everything burn. The emergency vehicles were too late. They only managed to recover one body from the ruin. Of the two people in the building, I knew who it belonged too. It was smaller and leaner, and had been beautiful. The officers on the scene arrested me and took me away. I had lost it after this. I do not know what led me to commit this atrocious act, but it broke me. Shortly after my arrest, I was tried and convicted of arson and first degree manslaughter. I managed to get out of my prison time however. Although at a high price. I was committed. Now I talk to a man in a room every day, while lying on a couch. When I sleep I see the same thing over and over, fire everywhere, burning, destroying. The dream ends when I burn.
I am suddenly jolted upright, still screaming. I am covered in sweat and unsure of what is going on.
“Oh God, I am burning!” I shout.
I realize then though, that everything is alright. It was just a dream! A mad, absolutely downright terrifying dream. I, Jimmy McBurns, am perfectly fine!
“What horror was this, and what caused my mind to conjure up such strange visions?” I wonder aloud.
At least it is over with. A cup of tea should calm my nerves now. I slip out of bed, and make my way into the kitchen. The kitchen is rather quite cold, and I let out a slight laugh. I begin to prepare the tea, filling the kettle and placing it upon the stove. A click and the flames ignite. Bright blue, they are, and they dance with grace beneath the kettle. They lick at the edges, and slowly bring the water to a boil as I stand idly by waiting. Finally, the water is ready. I pour it into a cup and add a packet of orange tea.
“Ah, much better. That goes down well,” I say aloud as I sipped.
I do not have to go to work today, so I decide to go for a walk through town. My apartment is located very near the town, and there is always something to do there, whether it be shopping or simply going somewhere to eat. I will do the latter now. I step back into my room, and change into clothing more appropriate than my nightwear for venturing out into the chill early winter air.
I slipped on my coat and out the door I went. Down the flight of stairs, to floor one. I stepped out the door and strolled down the street, into the cold empty air, just me. The wild winds blew flurries of snow across my face, and they jumped and lept over my nose and grasped onto my eyebrows and hair. There were very few people out walking today, as expected with the cold. One soul does not go out alone in this weather though.
I had walked a few blocks, when the cold began to get to me, seeping into and crawling its way through my coat to my body. I decided to warm up and get a bite to eat and drink. I stopped in a coffee shop, one which I visited on occasion. Inside it was much warmer, and I ordered some coffee and soup. Once I received my order I had a seat at a table off to the side of the shop up against a wall. I breathed out a sigh as I began eating, and thought,
Here I am, alone again.
More and more of late, I had noticed myself becoming lonely. I really didn’t have any friends in this town, and all my family lived very far away. I was generally very busy with work, but this week I had been given off for the holidays. Right now, I wanted a friend. No, what I really wanted was a girl. I knew that I was a dashing handsome fellow, as I had been a quite a womanizer in the city I had worked in before this town. But here, I just hadn’t gotten out much. I never had the time. Now that there was a week of freedom in my life though, why not go looking? Some change in my daily life would be good. The coffee shop was not very busy, and only a single other person had entered since I. Just then, however, a couple came in. They were both somewhat young, but no younger than I am. They ordered drinks and had a seat in the front by the window. They were talking, and the man seemed to be speaking in a condescending tone to the woman. He would give her a mean sneer too and laugh occasionally, as though she had done something stupid in his eyes. She did not seem overly happy with him. God, she was beautiful though. Such a gorgeous woman; very light brown hair, flawless skin, and an incredibly well shaped and toned body. The man she had come with was also attractive as men go, and was muscular and had a large frame.
“What a tool,” I thought.
He did not look to be much of an intellectual. I had the ability to easily pick those people out with ease. He spoke loudly to the girl, and from the words I could pick up I was able to assure my assumption of his intelligence. What was a woman as glorious as her doing with an idiot such as him?
But of course I already knew the answer. He was a jock, a big strong muscle bound fool. She had probably only gone out with him for his appearance. Actually, I know that’s why she went out with him. It was obviously not for his personality or genius. Well, I decided, I will have her. She deserves better than that fool. I noticed in a sack she carried she had a number of books, including some on physics. She probably was a student at the local college. That explains where he came from too then. She was also wearing a uniform denoting she worked at one of the local markets. This would be her lunch break then.
This was all good news to me. Assuming she worked and went to college here, she would live near here too. I would be able to see her again then. My soup was cold by now, and I had had enough. It was time to be off. I disposed of my meal and got up. As I left, I walked past their table. I gave her a smile as I passed, and oh joy, she returned it! That warmed my heart. In that instant, I knew I had her. The tool sitting across from her was too busy staring into his drink to even notice the exchange. As I walked out of the shop, I thought to myself,
“She will be mine, before this season is over.”
I went back to my home, where I spent some time reading and contemplating how I would get this girl. Tomorrow, I would go into the market she worked at and see her again. The day wore on, and I made myself a little dinner. Hopefully this would be one of the last I ate alone. After dinner I watched the news on television, until I finally decided to retire for the night.
The next morning I awoke, feeling great. Today I was going to accomplish something. A dark smile crept over my face as I recalled the happenings of the day before. I got out of bed and went into the other room. I turned on the television, and was watching the news. There had been an increasing number of fires in cities around the country. They had all been started by people though, and in protest of new governmental regulations that had been put into action recently. That is a curious crime I thought, arson. The news went to a commercial then. I had seen enough. I had things to do now. I stood up and went into the kitchen. I made up some tea and toast, and had a lovely breakfast. I went and changed clothes, and made way to go to the market. Again, it was bitter cold out. I loved the cold though. The entire winter season was great in fact. Everything is covered in a layer of beautiful white snow. The snow covers up all the emptiness of fall. After the leaves are gone, the trees are left with naught but their bare brown bones sticking every which way. Winter brings about a change in the landscape. A change I was about to apply to my life as well.
I arrived at the market about this time. I had formulated a plan for when I found her. I was going to casually walk by, then bring up the fact that I had seen her at the coffee shop the day before. From there on, I would try and strike up a conversation, and get to know her.
I walked into the store, and began to search around. I played it off casually though, and even looked at some of food there. I had walked from the front of the store to the back, and not seen her yet.
“Where was she?” I thought to myself.
The thought crossed my mind then, and I felt like an idiot. Maybe she did not work today. How could I have possibly overlooked that fact? Such a large part of this, and I had not even thought about it. I had been too caught up in what I would do when I found her. But oh, as whatever fate would have it, she came up behind me and asked,
“Do you need help with anything sir?”
I could not contain my surprise as I spun around to greet said woman. A smile hastily crept across my face.
“Oh hello!” exclaimed I, “I was just having a look around…you look very familiar mam.”
“Do I? Wait a second; didn’t I see you at the coffee shop the other day?” she replied.
“That is it! You were the woman I saw there!”
“Yes, I believe that was me,” she said with a smile.
“Well, it certainly is nice to see you again,” I said. “My name is James McBurns, but you may call me Jimmy.”
“It’s nice to meet you Jimmy, I’m Victoria Anguish.
“It is a pleasure then, Victoria.”
“As is with you,” she said, again smiling.
“You seem to be in a brighter mood than you were in the coffee shop the other day. Pardon me if you will, but I happened to overhear a bit of your conversation,” I replied with a blush. I had not expected to jump so soon into this discussion.
“Oh it’s quite alright. My boyfriend and I were just not seeing eye to eye I guess you could say. We just don’t always think on the same level,” Said she, “I’m sorry you probably don’t care to hear this.”
“Not at all! I do not mind one bit. I enjoy listening to people, whether it is polite conversation or the ailments of their personal life.”
“Well, thank you for listening to me then at least. I feel like no one does anymore. Hey, I have to get back to work right now though. My shift ends at eight tonight, and if you aren’t like busy or anything, maybe we could talk some more.”
“Of course, that would be lovely,” I said grinning.
“I guess I’ll see you tonight then at eight.”
“Sounds like a plan!”
Victoria returned to work, and I proceeded to exit the store. How wonderful, I thought as I left. This exchange could not have gone any better! What luck, if I believed in such a thing, that all of this was actually falling into place so brilliantly. My mood was so exuberant, I decided I would go shopping and find something new to wear for my little date later in the evening. Strolling down the street I came to a clothing shop. This seemed like an ideal place to find something. Inside I went, and wandered around for some time. I found a classy overcoat in a dark crimson shade that I really thought was top notch. I bought the jacket, unconcerned of the relatively large amount of capital I would have to pay, and returned to my humble abode.
Once back inside my apartment, I laid my weary body down on the couch. I was still very excited nonetheless about my chance date tonight, but walking out in the cold had worn me out. I turned on the television to some movie playing about a boy who liked to commit evil deeds, and was eventually caught by the law. They managed to somehow rehabilitate him, but he then ended up going back to doing things how he pleased. A good movie I thought, I will have to read the book.
It was getting later on in the afternoon by this time. I made myself up something to eat, and then decided to do a spot of reading. I read some Voltaire, and waited. Time was passing ever so slowly, and I was growing very impatient. I turned the television back on, and sat down. There was really nothing of interest on, but that figured.
Seven o’clock came around, and I prepared myself for the evening to come. I took a shower and dressed, in casual attire, and wore my new overcoat. Seven forty came, and I left the apartment and made my way down to the coffee shop. I arrived almost precisely at eight o’clock, but she was not there as of yet. I found a seat at a table near the front were I would be easy to see. I sat there for twenty minutes, but no one showed up. I was beginning to think I had been blown off. This damped my mood a good deal. Resentment at ever even trying to find this woman earlier in the day began to rise up inside of me. Just then however, she came into the shop. My spirits rose, but ever so briefly. Her boyfriend was right behind her. She spotted me and came up to the table I was at.
“Hello there,” she said in a not very cheery tone.
“Greeting,” I replied none too happy myself.
“So, you’re the guy who thought he had a date with my woman,” said Victoria’s boyfriend angrily.
“Well, I am the man who was going to have coffee and a nice chat with her, if that is what you meant.”
“Uh no, that’s not what I meant bud.”
“Pardon me then, Sir,” I said with much resentment in my voice.
Victoria chimed in then and turning to her boyfriend,
“Hey! I was just meeting him for coffee! Relax!”
“Stay out of this,” he said and pushed her aside.
I stood up, and defensively moved between the two of them. He and I were now face to face.
“You had better watch how you treat her,” I said defiantly.
“Stay out of the way!” he shouted at me. Just then he took a swing, and I unawares, was caught in the mouth. The blow hurt a quite a lot, and took me so much by surprise that I was temporarily disoriented.
“Leave him alone!” Victoria yelled as she stepped between us. She grabbed him and started pulling him away from me.
“That bastard had it comin to him,” he said as he grinned and started to walk out. Victoria came over to me and all sympathetic like said,
“Are you alright? I’m so sorry for that. I can’t believe he actually hit you,” she said with deep pity in her voice.
“Is fine,” I managed to say, my jaw beginning to swell.
“Victoria! What the hell are you doing?” he said, “We’re leaving. Now.”
“I’m not going with you!” she exclaimed.
“Excuse me? Yes you are,” said he.
“NO!”
He came back over right then and struck her across the face. She recoiled and tears welled up in her eyes. He grabbed her arm and began to pull her out with him. She had given up fighting him. I could see that last light flow out the tears as she went with him. What has this turned into, I thought then. I cannot let him get away with this. Victoria deserves so much better. I am going to make sure that that brute never hurts another woman again.
This is when my mind began to fracture, I believe. I was no longer thinking clearly. Desire and vengeance are powerful emotions, though, and can cause one to act very irrationally. I left the coffee shop, and looked down the street. Victoria and her boyfriend were a ways down the street, and were entering a parked car. I began to run, but it was too late obviously. The car started, and turned down a side road. I pursued, but was a ways behind. The car was much too fast. I gave up the chase, stopped, gasping for breath in the frigid night air. The car had turned again off in the distance, and gone down a road lined with small houses used by the college students. That was perfect. All I had to do was look for his car. Revenge was still very fresh in my mind, so I did not discontinue the chase. I did come up with a plan though, and a very nasty one. I needed to make a quick stop at a gas station right across the street. There were a few things I needed in order to exact my vengeance and reap destruction upon this terrible being Victoria was with. I found what I needed in the store, and filled the tank up with one of the nozzles. It was not as light as I had hoped, and I could not travel at a very fast pace. Thankfully I did not have to go far.
I carried on, and made my way down the street the car had turned down. I assumed the car would not be very far, for some reason, and by complete chance I my wild assumption had been correct. The car was parked in front of a house at the end of the street. I walked on, and finally came to the house. I gazed at it, and then crept up to a window in the front. This window opened into a main room, where he was sitting and drinking a beer while watching the television. She was sitting in a chair off to the side, her head lowered. It was very cold out, but the fire burning in me kept the chill at bay. I took the full tank, and began to pour it in a circle around the edge of the house. A back window was open a crack, and I poured some of the rancid smelling liquid into the room. Finishing off the canister, I carried it back with me to the front window. I peered inside once more, just as he got up and entered the kitchen right off the room. Now was the chance for me. I tapped the glass ever so slightly, but enough that Victoria would hear, and she did. Her eyes grew wide when she saw me, and with a glance into the kitchen, got up and came over to the window.
Victoria opened the window a small amount, and whispered, “What are you doing here?”
“I came for you, my dear,” replied I.
“He won’t let me leave though,” she said downcast.
“You must find a way! I will knock at the door, and you can answer. Tell him it is a friend of yours come to see you, and step outside.”
She glanced back, just as he was returning to the room. I ducked down, and she turned to him.
“What are you doing at the window?” He said.
“I felt a draft coming in, and was checking if it was closed all the way,” she lied.
“Fine. Just sit down now then.”
Victoria obeyed and returned to her chair. I had to play my part now. I crept over to the front door, and knocked. I ran back to the window, and looked in. She was telling the lie I had told her to tell to him it appeared. He did not seem too much care or believe her. She raised her voice, and walked over to the door then. I sprang back to it, and greeted her.
“I cannot believe that worked,” I proclaimed as she came out.
“Neither can I. I don’t think he believed me though.”
“Well then let us be gone from here. You look cold, take my coat,” I said and handed it to her.
“Thank you, I’m freezing.”
“Before we leave, I have one thing to attend to. Please, if you would turn that way and begin to walk. You will not want to see this.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked with concern. “Please, can we just leave here for now? All I want is to get away from here.”
“We will, but I must do this.”
“Alright, then,” as Victoria began to walk.
I crept around to the back of the house. From my pocket I pulled out a matchbook I kept with me, and lit a match. The flame danced in front of me, and I tossed it at the base of the house. Fire instantly sprung up, and began to travel all around where I had spread the gasoline. The room which I had poured it in caught fire, and the house began to burn. I ran back to the front. Victoria was running over to me.
“What are you doing?! Are you mad? Why in hell did you set the house on fire!?” she screamed.
“This had to be done! He was a monster, and not only did you deserve better, but now he will never be able to hurt another soul again!” I retorted.
“No! You can’t do this!”
She ran back to the front door, and went inside. What was she doing? Had she lost it? This guy had treated her terribly, and she was going to save him. I ran up closer to the house and saw in the window. Smoke was already filling the room, and he was looking around, drunk, wondering what was going on. She went up to him, and he stumbled forward falling down. She tried to help him up, but he could not even stand at this point. The fire was spreading very quickly. This house was old, and full of rotten dry wood. Right as she was about to get him up again, the roof started to sag. The structural integrity of the building had been greatly compromised, and it was going to come down very quickly. I was stuck to the spot in which I stood, for I could not believe what was happening. What had I done? He may have been a monster, but then so was I. The roof collapsed around the couple, and flames burst up all around them. In the distance I could hear a siren. I stumbled backwards as the fires shot up, producing a very intense heat. While the flames rose, I knew that Victoria was no more.
The fire engines came, as well as police cars. I stood there, watching everything burn. The emergency vehicles were too late. They only managed to recover one body from the ruin. Of the two people in the building, I knew who it belonged too. It was smaller and leaner, and had been beautiful. The officers on the scene arrested me and took me away. I had lost it after this. I do not know what led me to commit this atrocious act, but it broke me. Shortly after my arrest, I was tried and convicted of arson and first degree manslaughter. I managed to get out of my prison time however. Although at a high price. I was committed. Now I talk to a man in a room every day, while lying on a couch. When I sleep I see the same thing over and over, fire everywhere, burning, destroying. The dream ends when I burn.
A cold night at the Carnival
The music plays as the carousel goes round, some cheerful tune on the Calliope. The smell of elephant ears and popcorn greets my nostrils. It is dark out, but the bright lights of the Ferris-wheel and the other rides give light to the carnival grounds. It is a little cool out, as the year has progressed late into the fall season. I am wandering around, rather aimlessly, to find one of my friends I am to meet here. He sent me a text telling me to meet him here at the carnival at 9:30 p.m. It is now almost 10, however, and I had found him. He had not answered his phone either. I was going to leave then, but a man caught my eye. He had on a pair of boots belonging to my friend. It would not have been so strange, but for the fact that they were custom designed by my friend and so no one else would have them. I decided out of curiosity, to follow the man. The fellow walked through the carnival, past the busy concession stands, right through the bright and flashy rides, past the main tent where a show was going on with some animals, and stopped in front of a trailer. He looked around very briefly, and went inside. I had slowly walked behind him, keeping my distance, and watched him enter the trailer. I crept around to the back, and stood next to a window which was open, but had the curtains drawn across it. I could two people talking in the room. They were discussing what to do with the leftovers. I had no idea what they were talking about. They said that they were going to finish up tonight with the carnival and leave first thing the next morning. Move on to the next time and pull the same job. At that moment knocked there was a knock, and somebody was at the door of the trailer. The two men quickly were quiet and went to check on it. They opened the door and a third man's voice spoke, asking them to come check on something with him. The three of them left. I took a peek into the window, lifting up the blinds a little. The trailer was dark, though. I had a choice then, shall I leave, or venture inside and see what is going on? I chose the latter. There was a crate on the ground, and I used it to climb up through the window. I stumbled around for a minute, and my hand touched something. It was cold and damp, and my hand quickly withdrew on impulse. My heart was starting to beat heavily. This was getting most interesting. I found a light-switch by the door, and flipped it on. What I saw next, took my breath away for an instant. On the table was what my hand had touched. A shirt I recognized as belonging to my friend was there, spread out, and on half of it there was a dark reddish stain. The human mind likes to jump to the worst possible scenario often times, and such was what happened in this case. I knew it was blood on the shirt. Still though, my curiousness lingered. I pressed on into the trailer, trying to suppress my feelings of terror at what I would find. There was a somewhat small freezer in the trailer, approximate in size to a cars trunk. Someone in their stupidity had not closed it all the way. I stepped up to it, and my heart now furiously beating, opened it. I gazed upon the most horrid sight mine eyes had ever seen. I certainly knew why my friend had never answered any of my phone calls. His dismembered head lay in the freezer, staring blankly back at me. I came incredibly close to blacking out right there.
The Engine Room
I am down in a submarine. It is dark in here. I am in the deepest part of the submarine, in the engine room. Red lights cast shadows upon everything. A dull hum comes from the nuclear powered engine. There is very little space. Equipment is everywere, surrounding me. Almost every space has some vital piece of technology that helps the submarine function. Suddenly, a meow comes from upon the top of a machine. Another meow comes from right next to the engine. There are cats all over the room, climbing on all the different gadgets. The machines move a bit, different levers and knobs going up and down. The cats just walk right around them though, not even disturbed. They are used to how the engine sounds and works. They hardly care that I am there either, although they seem to want food from me. They purr and rub up against my legs as I stand there. I pour some cat food out of a container next to the door into a bowl on the floor. They all rush over and begin to eat. While they are eating, I slip past the engine and out of the room.
The Closet
Searching through an old drawer, I stumbled upon, by divine chance, the key to her apartment, my ex girlfriend. What an interesting find, this is. I think I shall go for a bit of snooping.
With a click, the door opens. It has been a few good years since i was last in this apartment. that musty smell meets my nostrils, all to familiar, however. There is clutter everywhere, and the paint on the walls is still peeling, though worse now and there is a bit less of that disgusting and distastefull yellow color left. Still a very downtrodden and for all purposes crappy apartment. She is at work right now, as I remember correctly this being the hour of her absence. I walk right through the livingroom and kitchen combination, and go into the bedroom, comprised of a single bed and an old wardrobe. I decide to do a little peeping in the closet, so i open the closet door, at the same moment I hear the front door creaking open. With haste and silence, I dash inside. I peer out through a crack, and see her come in, followed by one of my very good friends. They go and sit on the bed. She wispers something to him, and they begin to passionatly kiss. Their hands are all over each other, awkwardly groping around. The closet smells horrid, probably from a dead mouse rotting in the back. They are becoming more intimate now, the room starting to heat up with the lust of their interaction. He says something to her then, I being out of earshot though. Suddenly they stop, and she sits up, ajusting her shirt. "You"re an ass!" she yells. "You're just like my ex." He just stares at her with an idiotic and dissapointed look on his face. She gets up, and says she is going back to work. They leave, him with his tail between his legs. I quickly sneak out after them, my tail wagging high and proudly.
With a click, the door opens. It has been a few good years since i was last in this apartment. that musty smell meets my nostrils, all to familiar, however. There is clutter everywhere, and the paint on the walls is still peeling, though worse now and there is a bit less of that disgusting and distastefull yellow color left. Still a very downtrodden and for all purposes crappy apartment. She is at work right now, as I remember correctly this being the hour of her absence. I walk right through the livingroom and kitchen combination, and go into the bedroom, comprised of a single bed and an old wardrobe. I decide to do a little peeping in the closet, so i open the closet door, at the same moment I hear the front door creaking open. With haste and silence, I dash inside. I peer out through a crack, and see her come in, followed by one of my very good friends. They go and sit on the bed. She wispers something to him, and they begin to passionatly kiss. Their hands are all over each other, awkwardly groping around. The closet smells horrid, probably from a dead mouse rotting in the back. They are becoming more intimate now, the room starting to heat up with the lust of their interaction. He says something to her then, I being out of earshot though. Suddenly they stop, and she sits up, ajusting her shirt. "You"re an ass!" she yells. "You're just like my ex." He just stares at her with an idiotic and dissapointed look on his face. She gets up, and says she is going back to work. They leave, him with his tail between his legs. I quickly sneak out after them, my tail wagging high and proudly.
This morning it is raining
This morning it is raining
the sky is black and dreary
the streetlights cast an orange pallor
upon the ground.
This morning it is raining
The streets are wet
the air is cool and damp.
This morning it is raining
the cars pass by, their lights
casting dark shadows
they splash thorugh puddles.
This morning it is raining
the covers are so warm
I think I will go back to bed.
the sky is black and dreary
the streetlights cast an orange pallor
upon the ground.
This morning it is raining
The streets are wet
the air is cool and damp.
This morning it is raining
the cars pass by, their lights
casting dark shadows
they splash thorugh puddles.
This morning it is raining
the covers are so warm
I think I will go back to bed.
Summer joys
My face slams into the water
it fills my mouth and nose.
I quickly try to bring my head
Above the surface, and turn my body
Deep breaths of cool, crisp air
Are sucked into my lungs.
I grab the rope and on my back,
turn my body around to face the boat.
What is under me? I briefly wonder,
before the boat accelerates and
I am violently jerked upright.
Now on two feet, gliding over the surface
the dark blackish blue depths pass underfoot.
The wind blows my hair back, and
sends a chill thorug my soaking body.
I can smell how clean the air is,
the smell of pine and the
coming rain filling my nostrils
I am so alive,
the adrenaline coursing in my body.
Over and over again i repeat this process,
Living for the rush and intense excitement.
Summer joys.
it fills my mouth and nose.
I quickly try to bring my head
Above the surface, and turn my body
Deep breaths of cool, crisp air
Are sucked into my lungs.
I grab the rope and on my back,
turn my body around to face the boat.
What is under me? I briefly wonder,
before the boat accelerates and
I am violently jerked upright.
Now on two feet, gliding over the surface
the dark blackish blue depths pass underfoot.
The wind blows my hair back, and
sends a chill thorug my soaking body.
I can smell how clean the air is,
the smell of pine and the
coming rain filling my nostrils
I am so alive,
the adrenaline coursing in my body.
Over and over again i repeat this process,
Living for the rush and intense excitement.
Summer joys.
Prose
I spent a lot of time outside as a child. I would go out into the yard and go on adventures of whatever my imagination could conjure. On one such day I was outside, pretending to be a soldier. I had an army hat, utility belt, and a little toy gun. Running around, crawling through the yard, I heard my dad's voice. He was calling me to come inside. I didn't know what he wanted, and doublted it would be that important. Then I saw him. Suddenly I could tell something was not right. I could tell by his facial expression and his body language, that something was very wrong. He seemed anxious, and was very somber when I approached. As I came up to him, he said to me, "Mike come inside. I have something to tell you." I went in the house after him. In the kitchen, my mom and sisters were sitting, all crying. That was the first time I had ever seen my mother cry. It really shocked me. I began to have an incredible feeling of anxiety, deep in my stomach. I had no idea what was going on or what I was about to be told. Then the moment came. "The vet called, he said that last ight Alex died after surgery." Tears immediatly began to stream down my face uncontrollably. Our family dog, Alex, had been sick and needed to go to the vet a few days before. I had not thought much of it, and assumed that he would be fine. Everything hit me then, however. My dog, was dead.
Bus Stop Nights
Standing under the bus shelter in the rain,
reading yesterday's Wall Street Journal,
the bell tower chimed in the distance,
a train whistle blew,
the sky opened up,
the clouds roared,
dogs barked,
the streetlight blinked,
the gutters flowed,
leaves gathered at my feet,
the wind screamed,
and my bus arrived.
I got on.
"Lovely night, isn't it?" said the driver.
reading yesterday's Wall Street Journal,
the bell tower chimed in the distance,
a train whistle blew,
the sky opened up,
the clouds roared,
dogs barked,
the streetlight blinked,
the gutters flowed,
leaves gathered at my feet,
the wind screamed,
and my bus arrived.
I got on.
"Lovely night, isn't it?" said the driver.
Un-nested
That neverending light in the dark sky
The moon, like a branch of earth, reaching
out for the grand universe.
A bird must jump from a branch when leaving
the nest to fly.
Humanity will follow in those steps
jumping from the moon,
out into the vastness of space.
Tonight, that branch is invisible,
behind a cover of cloud.
But alas, that will not remain for long.
The moon, like a branch of earth, reaching
out for the grand universe.
A bird must jump from a branch when leaving
the nest to fly.
Humanity will follow in those steps
jumping from the moon,
out into the vastness of space.
Tonight, that branch is invisible,
behind a cover of cloud.
But alas, that will not remain for long.
Summer nights
It's dark out.
Well, it would be,
if not for that single brightest light,
the moon.
Lets climb to the top of this hill,
lay out all night.
Friends relaxing,
the stress of everyday lives fading away.
If only this moment would be timeless,
staring through the clouds forever.
Lets sit on this rock,
under the branches of this lone tree.
so serene, beautiful absolutly perfect moment.
Well, it would be,
if not for that single brightest light,
the moon.
Lets climb to the top of this hill,
lay out all night.
Friends relaxing,
the stress of everyday lives fading away.
If only this moment would be timeless,
staring through the clouds forever.
Lets sit on this rock,
under the branches of this lone tree.
so serene, beautiful absolutly perfect moment.
Our New Residence
That timeless light in the sky.
The moon, like a branch of earth,
Grasping at the universe.
Humanity sends rockets to nest,
there on the barren surface,
settle that crater ridden rock, earths arm to the stars.
Tonight, not a cloud blocks my view to that haven, still safe,
our nest.
We will be there soon, bringing life to the lifeless.
The wheels of progress turn, and ships,
carry scraps there, the nest almost completed.
That timeless light, our new residence.
The moon, like a branch of earth,
Grasping at the universe.
Humanity sends rockets to nest,
there on the barren surface,
settle that crater ridden rock, earths arm to the stars.
Tonight, not a cloud blocks my view to that haven, still safe,
our nest.
We will be there soon, bringing life to the lifeless.
The wheels of progress turn, and ships,
carry scraps there, the nest almost completed.
That timeless light, our new residence.
Radical Change
Replace those black skies
drain out the smog
let light shine through once agian
Destroy the atmospheric plague.
No more fuel will be produced
Automobiles will be dirty obsolete monstrosities
the age of the bicycle has begun
humans will once again discover,
they have legs.
This disease of obese,
tremendously massive men and women will cease.
Corporate restaurants, these fast food greae holes
will die.
Heart disease will sneak out the proverbial door
with them.
Health and nutrition will become the focus of consumption
A new fad.
Education will prosper,
Once again it will become the focus of schools nationwide.
Students will be pushed to new limits, the standard for average
greatly enhanced.
Our greatest treasure will remain knowledge.
Governmental reform is imminent
the elite class ruling society
stripped of power.
In this new society, leaders will lead,
they will stand for the will of the people.
The masses will choose their leaders with great precision.
Wealth will be distributed evenly among this classless utopia.
Jobs will remain, from the most simple to the most complex.
Always available, pay will be on an even scale, except for those
who spend their days idle and languid.
Excercise will be stressed with utmost importance,
Every morning the population will use their machines,
and provide energy for entire cities.
Waste is intolerable
reuse, always.
Planes shall be replaced with balloons and dirgibles,
energy efficient and safe.
Ships will be again fitted with sails and solar panels.
Cleaners will take to the streets at dusk,
Purging them of what little impure trash still remains.
Rivers, lakes, and oceans shall be swept clean.
Once again, they will be pure, as in the days
before the plague of humanity.
drain out the smog
let light shine through once agian
Destroy the atmospheric plague.
No more fuel will be produced
Automobiles will be dirty obsolete monstrosities
the age of the bicycle has begun
humans will once again discover,
they have legs.
This disease of obese,
tremendously massive men and women will cease.
Corporate restaurants, these fast food greae holes
will die.
Heart disease will sneak out the proverbial door
with them.
Health and nutrition will become the focus of consumption
A new fad.
Education will prosper,
Once again it will become the focus of schools nationwide.
Students will be pushed to new limits, the standard for average
greatly enhanced.
Our greatest treasure will remain knowledge.
Governmental reform is imminent
the elite class ruling society
stripped of power.
In this new society, leaders will lead,
they will stand for the will of the people.
The masses will choose their leaders with great precision.
Wealth will be distributed evenly among this classless utopia.
Jobs will remain, from the most simple to the most complex.
Always available, pay will be on an even scale, except for those
who spend their days idle and languid.
Excercise will be stressed with utmost importance,
Every morning the population will use their machines,
and provide energy for entire cities.
Waste is intolerable
reuse, always.
Planes shall be replaced with balloons and dirgibles,
energy efficient and safe.
Ships will be again fitted with sails and solar panels.
Cleaners will take to the streets at dusk,
Purging them of what little impure trash still remains.
Rivers, lakes, and oceans shall be swept clean.
Once again, they will be pure, as in the days
before the plague of humanity.
Ever expanding
The universe is spitting on me
I am but a few particles
in and infinitly expanding phenomena
Why should the sun dim if my
spirit does?
The sun in the center of my
heart died when everythin imploded
like a dying star.
You trained to be a doctor,
but could not take care of
the one planet in your own
universe with life still in it.
Slowly everthing would dim,
then brighten again, as if the
future would be positive.
Finally though, that light
was extinguished,
only to be born again,
In my new galaxy.
I am but a few particles
in and infinitly expanding phenomena
Why should the sun dim if my
spirit does?
The sun in the center of my
heart died when everythin imploded
like a dying star.
You trained to be a doctor,
but could not take care of
the one planet in your own
universe with life still in it.
Slowly everthing would dim,
then brighten again, as if the
future would be positive.
Finally though, that light
was extinguished,
only to be born again,
In my new galaxy.
Shards of memory
Room full of people
Everyone is looking forward,
focused on the speaker.
A nurse, in graphic discussion
of a sensitive topic.
I begin to feel light, my stomach churns suddenly.
Everything shuts down then
my eye's reopen with a million faces on me.
This light, suddenly bright,
in my brand new eyes.
What is going on?
Who knows.
Everyone is looking forward,
focused on the speaker.
A nurse, in graphic discussion
of a sensitive topic.
I begin to feel light, my stomach churns suddenly.
Everything shuts down then
my eye's reopen with a million faces on me.
This light, suddenly bright,
in my brand new eyes.
What is going on?
Who knows.